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Our Featured Celebration

Instead of our usual tongue-in-cheek “featured celebration”, we’d like to take a more serious tone this month. It’s a month worth commemorating – January 2033 marks the 40th Anniversary of the Consilium Corporate Group. For many of our friends and clients, 1993 is the remote past - a fabled year when automobiles were still driven by humans, the Arctic still experienced snowfall, and Canadians had what were referred to as “majority governments”. It was a long-forgotten period of history when, believe it or not, the Toronto Maple Leafs DIDN’T win the Stanley cup every year. (Pictured above: the original Consilium headquarters in Ottawa, Canada, now preserved as a Heritage Building in the heart of “Little Tokyo”.)

NEW DIGS

Friends and clients are invited to the Grand Opening of the new Consilium Dubai office (shown right). This 180 story tower (acquired surprising cheaply) houses the offices and residences of all Consilium Dubai, Stonecircle Dubai and Aarluk Dubai staff, as well as the corporate HQ of Bradshaw Burger International. Among its unique features is the 36 hole golf course adjacent to Ron Ryan’s office (92nd floor), and a perfect full- scale replica of the city of Iqaluit, reconstructed from photos taken just before the Great Melt of 2024 (17th floor). Helipad parking valet is available on three levels.

NEW BEGINNINGS

President Christian “Clootch” Cloutier, settling in on his first day following his election as President of CCG. (Pictured above, President Clootch showing off his new state-of-the-art, power-free ultra portable plugless screen-free data recording device. surrounded by the portraits of former Consilium presidents. From left to right, Past President Gilhuly, Past President Sutherland, Past President Grosset and Past President Black.)

ONGOING PROJECTS

        

Consilium's founding partners continue their groundbreaking world tour as "The Four Facilitators", combining their passion for training with their shared love of Barbershop harmony. Their revolutionary new approach to workshop delivery has garnered rave reviews in both the Harvard Business Review and Rolling Stone Magazine, and a recording contract with Geffen Records. Tracks will include their onstage favourites "My Dawg Has Fleas and My Portfolio is Underperforming", "The Red Ink Blues", and their popular medley "Sweet Adeline/Great Bottom Line". (Pictured above from left to right: Ramblin' Ron Ryan, Terry "Fats" Rudden, Fred "Fingers" Weihs, and Greg "Sugarhips" Smith)

The Integrated Community Infrastructure Sustainability Planning Project is nearly completed: only two planets and 7,037 asteroids remain. Aarluk’s Geoff Rigby and Consilium’s Galin Kora (pictured above) were slightly delayed when their Titan-bound Spicky IV Lander went mechanical, followed by a three-month layover on Ceres due to meteor storms. Fortunately their SharePoint connection remained intact, and they were able to file timesheets and travel claims as requested. They’re expected back sometime before Consilium’s 50th anniversary.

HAPPY ENDINGS

Aarluk Manager Victor Tootoo and consultant Alex Ker have completed the evaluation of a revenue sharing model established in 2023 for the federal Department of Indigenous Relations and Northern Revenue Sharing (formerly INAC). Following the Great Melt, two decades of five digit oil prices, and their emergence as the world’s premier travel destination (especially the Kivalliq Rain Forest and the newly opened Disney World Sachs Harbour), the revenue sharing model reflects the status of the Province of Nunavut and the Northwest Province as the lead drivers of Canada’s economy. Recommendations from the evaluation include special economic support measures to be extended by the Northern Provinces to Alberta and Ontario.

         

Stonecircle’s Jennifer David and Kory Goulais recently completed a roles and responsibilities workshop for the newly elected municipal council in Luna City. The workshop addressed issues relating to language barriers and communication between the representatives who hail from 12 different planets.

BIRTHDAYS

Unfortunately, birthdays were abolished in 2029 when Dr. Valerie Assinewe perfected her Nobel Prize-winning antigerontic Ginseng-based infusion (Remember that irresistible slogan...Stay Young Forever, the Assine-Way?). The entire population of the planet immediately ceased aging, the Hallmark Corporation sued Stonecircle, several thousand bakeries went bust worldwide, and we all stopped counting birthdays. Yet we still keep this section in the newsletter. Weird…

GOSSIP

Culinary Pioneer and Man About The Solar System Dave "Hound Dog" Boult recently took in a meal at the Nergal Café, the latest, hottest eatery on Mars. Dave (seen here with an unidentified friend) admitted he was a bit disappointed. "The food is great", he said. "But the place has no atmosphere."

Ron Ryan, Chuck Gilhuly and Terry Forth, relaxing at the luxurious Gjoa Haven Hilton, just before field testing the resort’s new 36-hole Golf Course. The expanded course is scheduled to open in the season formerly know as winter of 2034.

MATCH THE CONSILIUMITE WITH THEIR PET!

We are delighted to offer, once again, the 409th edition of our ever popular "Match the Consiliumite with their Pet" Competition. You know the drill: match the pets illustrated below with their Consilium, Stonecircle or Aarluk owner. Here are the pets:

And here are the owners, all decked out in their festive solar radiation air purification units.

The first correct respondent will receive a new four-thread, plangent-cloistered, collapsible Zurgoflex.

CHECK BACK EVERY MONTH FOR MORE CONSILIUM, STONECIRCLE AND AARLUK NEWS, TOOLS, AND GOSSIP.